Another fun marketing expression, this time with a business jargon slant:

accelerate (v.)

In basic physics, when you accelerate, it implies two things: (1) you are already moving with some velocity; and (2) you are moving in a certain direction.

Paradoxically, in business, when you say “accelerate,” it implies two things: (1) you are not moving at all; and (2) you are not going in any direction.   It’s kind of like opposite day!

For example:

Marketing copy: With this dramatic new rollout, we will accelerate our deployment and seize market share.

Translation: We aren’t selling anything now, but maybe we finally will.

Marketing copy: Our redoubled efforts will accelerate positive change and liberate resources for new initiatives.

Translation: My name is Tooly McToolTool.

Thanks to Dan Rosler for this suggestion!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *