This isn’t really a marketing weasel word (yet), but I think it’s a wonderful ambiguity that often comes up in business contexts. Maybe you can deploy it in your next press release! push the date forward (v.) Translation: (1) Move the date later. (2) Move the date earlier. English is wonderfully ambiguous sometimes. For example, […]
More business jargon: let’s take it offline (v.) Translation: let’s stop discussing that irrelevant issue of yours, leaving you the responsibility for scheduling any follow-up. A minor idiocy about the expression is that when anybody says this, they are already offline. Also, the person who says it is trying to imply that the matter at hand is […]
Another fun marketing expression: season (n.) In the normal, temperate world, you have four seasons. In Thailand, there are three: hot, cold, and rainy. In Hawaii or Antarctica, only one. But retailers have anywhere from 12 to 24 “seasons” throughout the year. A season is basically anything that motivates them to change store decorations. As […]
Another fun marketing expression, this time with a business jargon slant: accelerate (v.) In basic physics, when you accelerate, it implies two things: (1) you are already moving with some velocity; and (2) you are moving in a certain direction. Paradoxically, in business, when you say “accelerate,” it implies two things: (1) you are not […]
It’s time for yet another misleading term only found in the world of marketing: bicast leather (n.) Bicast leather is to leather what astroturf is to turf, or what white chocolate is to actual chocolate. It is a horrible aberration that you can legally say is leather, even though it is really just plastic with […]
Here’s another amusingly misleading marketing expression: as low as (adv.) Asterisks ahoy! “As low as” is a deliciously ambiguous term that simply means that somebody, somewhere might actually get this price, rate, or deal, though it probably won’t be the actual human who just read the ad. Or maybe it could be you, if you were to accept the worst possible terms […]
Another in my series of amusingly misleading marketing expressions. virtually (adv.) Virtually is the most beautiful word in marketingese because it actually negates whatever it modifies without anybody realizing it. To turn copy into normal-speak, just replace the word “virtually” with “NOT” (yes, in capital letters), and you’ve cracked the code! For example: Marketing copy: […]
Here’s another in my series of amusingly misleading marketing expressions. antibiotic-free (adj.) In the US, “antibiotic-free” means only that an animal did not have antibiotics in its system when you eat it, which only means that it had no exposure to new antibiotics in its last 48 hours of life. Prior to that, its diet […]
I love collecting words and expressions commonly found in marketing copy that seem full of meaning, but that are in reality vacuous and misleading. Here my first in the series: limited edition (adj.) What’s great about “limited edition” is that you can use it on everything, because everything will no longer be made at some point […]